Last time, we saw why family worship is very important for families (including couples without children), and what the Bible teaches about the mandate underlying its use. Today, we will be looking at how family worship can be applied practically. Here is a page that I put together for my own practice of family worship. I will use this as a springboard for further discussion.
Biblical Basis
Family worship is rooted in the Shema (Deut. 6:4) as a natural extension of being entirely loyally obedient to God: all our heart, soul, and strength; teaching this loyal obedience to children and grandchildren (Deut. 6:4-9; also see Eph. 6:1-4 and Matt. 28:18-20)
Family Worship Facts
Parents are the ones responsible to disciple and instruct their children in the Lord
Family worship should be led by the father (the wife can do so in his absence)
Family worship relies on the continual growth and spiritual maturation of the father
Full participation of all members is needed in every constituent part
(singing, Bible reading, biblical instruction and catechesis, discussion, and prayer)
Family worship should be mandatory, with rebellion requiring loving discipline
Family Worship in Practice
Can be between 15-30 minutes, depending on age of kids and gifts of the father
It can be done both in the morning and evening, or one of the two (former is often better)
Doctrine taught needs to be pure and faithful, with relevant application for all involved
All family worship needs to be done out of love and for discipleship (no shaming)
Family worship is to be sacred family time, cherished and loved by the family
The father should read ahead, preparing catechism Q&A, and be informed for teaching
Family worship should be as normal as eating food, and viewed as just as essential
Nothing should ever replace family worship time: it should be jealously guarded
The Constituent Parts of Family Worship
Prayer from the heart, grounded in God’s moral will, should be in every session
(Jer. 10:25; focus prayer to be relevant, and seek to cover every part of prayer: 1. Praising and glorifying God, 2. forgiving and being forgiven, 3. thanksgiving, and 4. petitions)
Singing is for instruction and worship (Ps. 118:15; e.g., Psalm Meter, hymns)
Bible passages are to be read: seek to go over the whole Bible multiple times before kids grow up (2 Tim. 3; Proverbs is a great frequent selection; follow age-appropriate plan)
The passage is to be catechized and used for instruction (Deut. 6:6-7; 2 Tim. 3:14-17)
(catechism is simply asking questions of the passage to gauge their understanding, and for direct application to their hearts; other good materials can help aid Bible study)
Godly discussion can take place, where particular questions or points may be explored
Blessings of Family Worship (from Voddie Baucham)
Family worship honors God.
Family worship will draw your family closer to God.
Family worship will draw your family closer to one another.
Family worship will lay a foundation for multigenerational faithfulness.
Family worship will expose spiritual weaknesses in your home.
Family worship will serve as a training ground for smaller children (how to be at church).
Family worship will make corporate worship more meaningful.[1]
I will fill in a few more details that may have been somewhat unclear in the page above:
The father needs to be regularly in God’s Word and in prayer, so that he may have something to offer his family. He cannot help others beyond his own maturity level.
A father also needs to be able to prepare a simple lesson for his family, ensuring that not only is the passage being read, but also applied to their hearts. There are many possible aids for this, including good biblical commentaries, study Bibles, and Joel Beeke’s Family Worship Bible Guide, which covers every chapter in the Bible.
Catechesis is simply the following: asking questions about the passage to both a.) ensure that the passage is being properly understood, and b.) to help further application of the passage to their hearts so that it can be used in daily life
A person’s personal prayer and Bible reading and study can never replace family worship, since directed instruction and the family system (a mini church, if you will) is necessary to obey God’s biblical mandate for discipleship and giving instruction in the Lord.
When first starting out, you can begin with a short session until the family gets used to it.
Family worship also teaches the family how they can best make use of what the church—publicly gathered—has to offer. For instance, how to sing with their hearts to God, focus on the preacher’s sermon and the service (rather than being distracted), and to sit still for attentive listening. It instills the life of the church into their veins from the earliest age.
Before I layout how we practice family worship, note that we have catered how we do family worship to the ages and stages of our children, and anyone can cater it to their family’s specific needs and targeted ages. So, this is not how you need to do family worship. Rather, this serves as an example, catered to my family’s specific needs. What is important, is that all of the components of family worship are being included faithfully.
Here is how we do our family worship. At the time of writing, we have young children, with the oldest being nine and the youngest being almost two, so our choices reflect having that age range. We start by having family worship in the morning (before breakfast) and then in the evening (after supper). We have family worship before breakfast to teach that spiritual food is more important than physical food (Matt. 4:4), with our hunger reminding us of our need for God. (Although, with very small children, some may need to have some food in their stomachs for them to focus on family worship better). Having it when we get up also teaches that our first thoughts in the day should be on God and His Word. We also end our days showing that He should be our contemplation before retiring to bed (He is the first and the last, and therefore owns everything in between). The idea for us is that we desire to give God the principal parts of our day: the best of the time that we have. This may not look the same for everyone, and you will need to choose a consistent daily time for worship.
In the morning, I start our prayer, and each family member prays for what is relevant to them (following the four parts of prayer: adoration and praise, thanksgiving, asking for forgiveness and being forgiven, and petition), ending with my wife’s prayer. We are careful to help ensure that they know why and how they are to pray. For younger ones, I help them by giving them some words for their prayers until they can come up with them themselves dynamically. For older children, they may need help initially to show them what would be good things for them to pray about, and this should eventually come naturally to them. Our prayer is dynamic, depending on important and relevant events or circumstances in our lives (and for others that they know). After this, we sing two hymns. We also help them to understand the meaning behind the hymns that they sing, so that they can be informed worshippers. For younger children, we briefly instruct them in this daily. We also give our children the choice of what songs we sing one day of the week (they all have their favourites). I then end in prayer, and we get breakfast ready together.
In the evening, I start with a short prayer, and then ask the children what they remembered from yesterday’s family worship passage. I often help them with hints and prompts, so that they can remember the context, and better recall the lesson. My hope is that they could recall not only what happened in the passage, but also what the main takeaway of the passage was. (This also encourages them to pay close attention, because they know that they will be asked about the lesson both on that day, and the day after). This also helps them to see the day’s passage in its biblical context, so that they can better understand the bible as a whole. After this, we open our bibles to our passage. We go through whole biblical books of the Bible. Sometimes, for smaller children, I will skip certain passages that would be hard for them to wade through, such as the priestly laws, or parts that they are too young to deal with. For younger children, it is best to start with narrative and biblical stories. As children mature (perhaps around 7 or 8), I start also going through the non-narratival parts of the Bible, such as Philippians or Ephesians. The book of Proverbs is excellent, and we frequently go there, even throughout the day. The point is that, by the time that they move out, they would have received a personal lesson on each chapter of the Bible at least three times, giving them instruction in the whole counsel of God (I know that this will be hard for some, and so there are helpful resources; I would also suggest starting with more simple books and working your way up to harder ones). When they do move out, it would simply be that family worship is normal, having been trained how to make the best use of prayer, praise, Bible reading, and biblical instruction from their hearts.
As I read the day’s passage, I stop at highlights and places that need more explanation. (I like using study Bibles and other resources to aid with this). I seek to help my children to understand what is happening and why. This also includes (1) what the passage says about God, and (2) how we are then to respond to Him. It does not need to be a particularly in-depth lesson, but one that does instruct, targeting the hearts of our family. I usually ask my children questions about the text to help lead them to proper understanding and application of the text (catechesis). After this, my children usually have questions about the passage, which can help them to both understand and apply it accurately. At first, they may need help regarding how they can come up with informed and good questions. After a while, this will come naturally. This helps the Bible to come alive to them, and for it to be something that directly relates and has bearing on their daily lives. This also teaches them to humbly go to the Bible with their questions, and how they can properly answer them. After this, we close in prayer.
Remember that there are many ways that you can do family worship, granted that it includes prayer, praise, Bible reading, and Bible instruction (lesson and catechesis). You can customize it to fit the needs, ages, and maturity of your family. However, it must be something that is jealously guarded. For instance, if we are about to go out somewhere for the evening, we ensure that family worship is done first. We ensure that we never skip it, and regularly teach our children that it is at least just as important as our need for food and drink. We ought to never starve ourselves of this vital food. And, (it bears repeating) if one allows it to be skipped once, then it will be again, showing that, whatever we did in its place, is more important than our daily spiritual food. This cannot be, for it teaches our family that our faith is a sham—that, when push comes to shove, worldly things are shown to be more important. Lastly, it is never too late to start. Older teens can greatly benefit from regular family worship, and our short time for this is very precious.
Next time we will be looking at practical ways to redeem the time for good works.
[1] Baucham, Family Driven Faith, 143-147.