Today we will finish Proverbs 5. We left off last time looking at the grave consequences of giving into adultery, leading to a condition at the end of one’s life that Solomon described as “at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation” (verse 14). This is a terrible state, with one’s ruin being imminent. By contrast, verses 15-19 teach that the married man’s delight ought to be in the wife of his youth. Does this teaching only apply to married men? No, because there is a sense in which it applies to everyone. Paul teaches on this in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35,
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Those that are married have as their duty to care for the interests of their spouse and the Lord (divided interests), while the single person just the interests of the Lord. Notice that the thrust of 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 is not so much merely pleasing one’s wife, but pleasing the Lord (a premise used to communicate a benefit of singleness), to “secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” Paul also teaches elsewhere that marriage is an image that is meant to foreshadow the perfect relationship that we will have with Christ (see Eph. 5:22-33). This thrust is also clear in Proverbs on the basis of what wisdom is (growing in the fear of the Lord), which is the express purpose of the book. The ultimate reference is always God, even when the subject deals with worldly affairs. Thus, there is a sense in which all of Solomon’s teaching on avoiding the adulterous woman is actually a teaching on being singularly loyal to God. In light of this, betraying our spouse or pursuing an adulteress is thus paramount to betraying God and pursuing another over Him—which justly incites His jealousy (1 Cor. 6:15-20; 10:14-22). Note that this is also a common biblical image used in the Bible to communicate God’s relationship with His people (e.g., Ezek. 16). So, whether you are single or not, all are called to pursue wisdom, with its end being to please the Lord above all else. Marriage is an image that is meant to illustrate and point to our proper relationship with God. With this in mind, see the first part of our passage, verses 15-19:
15 Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. 16 Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.
Drinking water from our own cistern refers to sharing our marriage relationship with only our spouse, just as we are to only serve the Lord our God and not idols. Scattering one’s springs abroad or on the street makes them filthy and contaminated, just as pursuing an adulteress pollutes and degrades marriage, distorting the good image of marriage that was meant to bring glory to God. Is it any surprise then that God often compares Israel to an adulterous woman when they go after other gods? Being satisfied in our spouse points to being satisfied in the Lord. Verse 17 highlights this by calling marriage to be “for yourself alone and not for strangers with you.” Marriage is between one man and one woman. This cannot be altered without defacing our relationship with God. In the sanctity of marriage is blessing and rejoicing—just as there is blessing and rejoicing in pursuing singular loyalty to God. God chooses us, and He makes us into a fit bride for Him by making us like Christ. In this respect, a faithful marriage is a picture of the gospel. The satisfaction we can have in marriage is only a small taste of the perfect satisfaction that we can forever have in Him.
The blessedness of following the way of wisdom, the dire consequences of pursuing the adulterous woman, and the beauty of marriage as an image pointing to a perfect relationship with God, all of this leads to what now should seem like an absurd question from Solomon: “Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?” (Prov. 5:20). The sense is that we would have to be out of our minds to pursue the adulterous woman. He continues,
21 For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. 22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. 23 He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.
God is watching how we conduct ourselves in this life, not only in the institution of marriage, but in all the ways that we relate to Him (whether for good or for evil). Will we honour Him and increasingly reflect His glory, or will we debase our image of Him? Those who pursue the adulterous woman will find that they are given over to their sin and entrapped by it. It is as a snare waiting to catch its next victim, with its end result being eternal death. For those who pursue wickedness, Paul said, “God delivered them over in the cravings of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves” (Rom. 1:24). In other words, there comes a point when God gives people over to their sin, if they will not turn from it to pursuing the Lord. Thankfully, all the saved in Christ are preserved from falling into this “delivering over” to sin. Yet, how many believe that they are saved and still continue in willful unrepentant sin? If this is you, then wisdom calls you to repent and turn from your sin to Christ, lest this eternal death be your fate also. Proverbs 28:13 says, “The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy.” Everything is immeasurably better in Christ, and He will preserve His own to the end. And even if you are in sin, there is forgiveness in Christ. Turn to Him and He will purify you and He will be the delight of your soul.
Next time we will be beginning Proverbs 6.